ATTENTION: AUTO BAILOUT TIME
That’s right folks, come this way! We will show you how the government helps decide who stays and who goes. First and foremost, you must create a need for the government. To start that, you must place ridiculous restrictions on car companies and enforce them to abide by them or risk the wrath of ‘the people!’ Use something grand as your excuse, something that makes you sound benevolent for insisting upon. Children are great but mass-destruction of the world is even better.
Stick with Global Warming!
Or as I like to call it ‘Gore-Made Warming.’
Great! You’ve got them scared now right? Shaking and begging for your help? Earth-shattering hurricane winds? Check! Drastically exaggerated predictions? Check! Facts to support your cause? Uh….we’ll skip that one!
There, now you’ve got the entire country eating out of your hands. Now the car companies can’t resist. If they do they’re evil greedy capitalist earth destroyers! So now, run with it! Slap fines down on any company who doesn’t meet your MPG standards. Publicly humiliate any company who lacks a shade of green! When you’re done, they will be so wrapped around your finger that they won’t even notice that the government’s policies are the ones dragging them down in to the abyss!
Here’s the fun part!
Right as the companies get ready to go out of business, partly in part to government intervention in private industry, or as we call it …’Hope and Change’….you can always slap down a bailout and save any company that’s too big to fail! That way the company no longer just feels like it belongs to you, IT ACTUALLY DOES! They will literally be in your debt! Suddenly you have destroyed the greatest industry to ever come to the United States. Make sure the job is done though! Institute a new government program that will make it look like the government is doing everything it can to save the industry. Get directly involved in every sale! Do this and you have succeeded in expanding the power of government and creating a new all encompassing safety net for American Businesses, which takes us one step closer to our true goal. Collectivism, Socialism, Control.
